On Wearing My Baby

I’ve read all about keeping babies close, from attachment parenting to accessorizing with a baby.  There are carriers galore, a testament to the fact that parents everywhere, whether out of necessity or desire, are in need of a device capable of keeping their babies close, while allowing mom or dad’s hands to be free.  We learned very early (and by early, I mean within hours of her birth) that our little Clover loves to be held, but does NOT like to be close.  Some babies are happy to collapse into their parents’ arms and relax completely, easily lulled into a deep slumber.  Not Clover.  Her head has been up since day 1.  She squirms and wriggles and looks all around.  She has never put her head down on my chest in restful bliss, unless it’s the middle of the night and she’s returning to slumberland after a midnight snack.  As one can imagine, and many have experienced, it’s very difficult to hold a baby for 18 hours every day.  In the beginning we thought, well, she’s just a newborn, of course she wants to be held all the time, so we indulged her.  Not only did she want to be held, she had to be in constant motion.  If our rear ends even moved in the direction of a chair while we were holding her, she’d scream, so we continued to indulge her.  My mom kept saying that she would sleep better and be easier once she was 3 or 4 months old.  So we waited, and 3 months came and went with no change.  But that was okay, we figured we only had 1 more month to go.  Anxiously, we awaited the arrival of the 4^th month of her life.  Still no change.  At 4 ½ months, she still wants to be held, still hates to take naps, and still wakes up screaming several times in the middle of the night (for her pacifier, again, because we have indulged her…but spend a night with her and you’d understand).  Needless to say, all this holding created the need for a baby carrier.  We started with a typical front carrier, which was very time consuming to maneuver and difficult to get her into when using the backseat of a car as a platform.  And once she was in, she couldn’t see and didn’t like it and squirmed and wriggled and after a while, she’d fall asleep because she had nothing better to do, and then my back would hurt because I didn’t want to interrupt her long-awaited slumber by sitting down.  So we got a sling.  What is up with the slings?  They must be made for babies who are generally content with just hanging out.  Clover would not put up with being squished into a fetal position in suspended animation.  She grunts and groans and squirms and wriggles, and eventually cries because she can’t see and she wants a decent vantage point into the world, and she cannot get it in a sling.  Now I have an Ergo Carrier, which I love, but Clover still does not.  However, since it’s much more comfortable for me, and she is a little bigger now so she can look around if she takes a second to do so before screaming, I force her to be in it.  I’ve gone for walks with her crying in it, ignoring her, because she’s going to cry no matter what, so I figured I might as well be outside taking a walk.  She eventually settles down.  In case you’re wondering, she doesn’t like to go for walks in her car seat (and she can’t sit up yet).  It’s too confining for her.  And until last week, she hated being in a car.  What kind of baby doesn’t like being in a moving vehicle??  She is significantly better lately, not only not crying while on the move, but also not screaming at 2000 decibels because her vehicle has encountered a red light or a stop sign (we tried to explain to the cop that rolling through the stop sign was of lesser risk than actually stopping, but anyway…).  So the great thing about the Ergo is that it’s easy to get her into by myself, and it is all cloth, so it folds well and makes it easily transportable.  Also, it has a huge hip belt to transfer some of the weight off the shoulders.  I keep willing her to like it and I will continue to do so until I force her into submission.  I’m hoping I can hide her in there and sneak her into work with me…wish me luck.

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