On Bourbon on the Rocks

Clover is teething. That’s what we tell people when she cries for no reason. She seems perfectly content one minute, and the next, she’s wailing like she’s being tortured. We’ve been telling people that she’s teething ever since we stopped using the excuse that “she’s only a few weeks old.” But now we think it’s actually true. We were hanging out with our neighbors last weekend, and of course she started down her usual screaming path and all of the neighbors decided she was definitely teething. While one went off to find some baby Orajel, another put some crushed ice in a cloth and then dipped it in bourbon! Before I even realized what had happened, Clover was happily sucking on the cloth and the screaming had ceased. Now, I neither condone nor advocate destroying a baby’s liver, but all I can say is that sometimes those crazy things people used to do in the good ol’ days actually work. It’s a wonder that babies from back then even made it through childhood in one piece, considering the whole milk, castor oil, and bourbon they were forced to consume. The funny thing is that I’m never actually sure who to say what to, for fear that they might criticize or give me that look of disapproval when they find out that I give my baby Zantac, and that she sleeps on her stomach, and that we put a blanket over her at night, and that I rock her to sleep sometimes because she’s a baby and one day very soon she won’t be and then I will never get to rock her to sleep again. Everybody has advice and it all conflicts with somebody else’s advice. Somebody at work said to make sure I take her pacifier away by the time she’s 4 months old. My response was, “You don’t live with her, and she’s 5 months old now.” Hmmm…I may not know exactly what to do with her in every scenario, but I know one thing…the next time she cries, I’m making her a peanut butter and honey sandwich with strawberries on the side. And bourbon on the rocks…good for baby, and good for mom.

On Wearing My Baby

I’ve read all about keeping babies close, from attachment parenting to accessorizing with a baby.  There are carriers galore, a testament to the fact that parents everywhere, whether out of necessity or desire, are in need of a device capable of keeping their babies close, while allowing mom or dad’s hands to be free.  We learned very early (and by early, I mean within hours of her birth) that our little Clover loves to be held, but does NOT like to be close.  Some babies are happy to collapse into their parents’ arms and relax completely, easily lulled into a deep slumber.  Not Clover.  Her head has been up since day 1.  She squirms and wriggles and looks all around.  She has never put her head down on my chest in restful bliss, unless it’s the middle of the night and she’s returning to slumberland after a midnight snack.  As one can imagine, and many have experienced, it’s very difficult to hold a baby for 18 hours every day.  In the beginning we thought, well, she’s just a newborn, of course she wants to be held all the time, so we indulged her.  Not only did she want to be held, she had to be in constant motion.  If our rear ends even moved in the direction of a chair while we were holding her, she’d scream, so we continued to indulge her.  My mom kept saying that she would sleep better and be easier once she was 3 or 4 months old.  So we waited, and 3 months came and went with no change.  But that was okay, we figured we only had 1 more month to go.  Anxiously, we awaited the arrival of the 4^th month of her life.  Still no change.  At 4 ½ months, she still wants to be held, still hates to take naps, and still wakes up screaming several times in the middle of the night (for her pacifier, again, because we have indulged her…but spend a night with her and you’d understand).  Needless to say, all this holding created the need for a baby carrier.  We started with a typical front carrier, which was very time consuming to maneuver and difficult to get her into when using the backseat of a car as a platform.  And once she was in, she couldn’t see and didn’t like it and squirmed and wriggled and after a while, she’d fall asleep because she had nothing better to do, and then my back would hurt because I didn’t want to interrupt her long-awaited slumber by sitting down.  So we got a sling.  What is up with the slings?  They must be made for babies who are generally content with just hanging out.  Clover would not put up with being squished into a fetal position in suspended animation.  She grunts and groans and squirms and wriggles, and eventually cries because she can’t see and she wants a decent vantage point into the world, and she cannot get it in a sling.  Now I have an Ergo Carrier, which I love, but Clover still does not.  However, since it’s much more comfortable for me, and she is a little bigger now so she can look around if she takes a second to do so before screaming, I force her to be in it.  I’ve gone for walks with her crying in it, ignoring her, because she’s going to cry no matter what, so I figured I might as well be outside taking a walk.  She eventually settles down.  In case you’re wondering, she doesn’t like to go for walks in her car seat (and she can’t sit up yet).  It’s too confining for her.  And until last week, she hated being in a car.  What kind of baby doesn’t like being in a moving vehicle??  She is significantly better lately, not only not crying while on the move, but also not screaming at 2000 decibels because her vehicle has encountered a red light or a stop sign (we tried to explain to the cop that rolling through the stop sign was of lesser risk than actually stopping, but anyway…).  So the great thing about the Ergo is that it’s easy to get her into by myself, and it is all cloth, so it folds well and makes it easily transportable.  Also, it has a huge hip belt to transfer some of the weight off the shoulders.  I keep willing her to like it and I will continue to do so until I force her into submission.  I’m hoping I can hide her in there and sneak her into work with me…wish me luck.

On Going Back to Work and Leaving My Baby with a Stranger

Could there possibly be a more depressing topic on my mind???  I start work on Tuesday and I’m dreading it.  There’s absolutely nothing at work that trumps the rewards of watching my baby grow.  I never thought I would find it so hard to have to leave her, but now I understand why so many people who have the option, choose to stay home with their babies.  So why am I going back to work?  Because my husband is making me.  I don’t know, he babbles on and on about a mortgage and futile dog training, and a Nintendo Wii, and he wants to stay home so he can watch movies like Bring It On during the day.  Okay, not really.  You know how life is, you just do what you have to do.  But Clover is at that stage already where she doesn’t like anybody except for her parents and one of our neighbors across the street, so I know she’s going to start screaming when we leave her with her new babysitter, Su.   Whenever anybody holds her, or even looks at her too long, she slowly starts turning her lips downward and opens her eyes wide, and before you know it, she’s crying.  I thought this kind of attachment was supposed to start a little later, not at 4 ½ months??  Her rolling is out of control lately.  As soon as I put her down, she rolls over, and she’s very frustrated that all her flailing doesn’t result in more movement.  Is Su going to pick her up and hug her?  Su asked me the other day if I was holding her a lot, and I could tell by the way she asked that she was wondering how difficult Clover was going to be for her.  Clover is not an easy child and Su is in for a rude awakening when she tries to put Clover down for a nap!  I’m just going to hope that she picks her up and hugs her.  I’m going to spend all weekend in a state of depression and trying desperately to find a career more suited to working from home than my current one.  Any suggestions?

On Being New Parents

From Nov 2008: 

We love our baby, our little ray of sunshine, our sweet little girl, Clover.  She’s 8 weeks old now.  Already, we cannot even imagine life without her.  Every day, she does something new that fascinates us.  She’s starting to smile and laugh and giggle when we talk to her.  She’s noticing her mobiles and wall art and she even stares at the baby in the mirror.  She likes to hold her head up and look around at everything, especially the blinds on the windows.  She likes to be held.  All the time.  And she likes to cry.  All the time.  But she does not like to sleep at night!  And since we do not like sleep deprivation, the conflict of interest has created a bit of tension in our happy home.  Everybody keeps saying this part will get better someday, so we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of someday, and as soon as it arrives, we will celebrate!  Until then, we will continue to eat and sleep in shifts and live like ships passing in the night.  We will continue to trade off rocking her at night when she wakes up every hour to do nothing but look around in the darkness.  We will continue to look at each other and wonder if our lives will ever again have a sense of order.  And then our little angel will look right at us with her big, currently blue, eyes, and we will smile, because we love her so much.

On My First Blog

This is my very first post in the blogging world, and all I can think about is whether or not I’m doing it right, and that perpaps I should have consulted my 17-year-old sister prior to posting.  My expectation with this blog is to interact with other new parents (or old parents) who can relate to my trials and tribulations of adjusting to life with a baby.  I began sending summaries of my baby’s development to friends and family members to keep them updated and it seemed to entertain them, so I will add those summaries here, little by little.  I’m looking forward to this new world!